Saturday, January 17, 2015

Week 2, Storytelling: The Becoming



(Deucalion & Pyrrha Repopulate the Earth. Photo Source: Wikipedia Commons)


Jupiter was flooding the Earth from above with rain. He had become so impatient at the time it was taking to flood the Earth that he called on his brother, Neptune, to help him flood the Earth with more water from below. Only two people made it out alive: Deucalion and his wife, Pyrrha. In the aftermath, they looked around and realized they were alone. They appealed to the goddess, Themis, to help them. She replied that they should throw the bones (rocks) of their mother (Earth) behind them. They began to do this and one by one, my kind was created from the bones of our mother. After landing, we would soften and morph into a human form, and after a few minutes, we were free to walk, talk, and live. I was euphoric when I was thrown. This was my first moment on Earth. As I began to morph, I felt my bones being created and hardening, I felt my skin stretching over my muscles. I felt my eyes forming underneath my eyelids. I was Becoming. I was slowly opening my eyes when everything stopped. At first I thought maybe this was what was supposed to happen before I took my final form, but I knew that this was not right. This was not normal. Something was wrong. What had gone wrong? What had I done wrong? This was as far in the process of becoming a human in the re-population of the Earth as I was allowed to go.

I have spent thousands of years trying to figure out why I was not allowed to Become. No one answers me, no one can hear me. My soul is stuck in this slowly deteriorating form. No one noticed me after the Becoming. Everyone moved forward as Deucalion and Pyrrha threw the rocks, moved forward, and threw more rocks. I was left alone for a long time before someone found me. A young woman who had been wandering through the woods, half lost, was the first one to find me. She walked up to me and looked me in my half opened eyes. I thank the goddess every day that I had gotten my eyes open this far before things went wrong. To be immortal and blind would be the final sick twist to my situation. She slowly reached out to me and rubbed her hand down my arm. I could feel her, but I could not respond. I was screaming, trying to move a millimeter, but nothing would happen. After slowly moving around me, she grabbed both my shoulders and said she was taking me home with her. I was so relieved to be moved. No matter what happened, at least I would not have to stand out here in the cold, dark, nothingness by myself.

After leaving me for some time, the young woman returned with men. They all looked me over, trying to figure out where my base was. I wanted to tell them that I was not a statue, that I was supposed to be a human. I was supposed to be like them. I was supposed to Become. After prying my feet from the ground, they carried me gently to her palace. The young woman would stop and stare at me sometimes, like she knew there was something different about this statue, but she was always going somewhere else, never staying long enough to follow her hunch. The young woman grew into an old woman, who had young women of her own. I stayed on the palace grounds for a very long time. I saw countless wars, famine, empires rise and fall. At some point, I just became a part of history. Over the next millennia I have been moved from museum to museum, from storage to storage, from person to person. I have lost limb and head, but I still remain.


(Unknown Statue. Photo Source: Wikipedia Commons)


Authors Note: The story Deucalion and Pyrrha is about how the god Jupiter decides to flood the Earth with the help of his brother Neptune. Deucalion and his wife Pyrrha survive the flood by landing in their boat on the top of Mount Parnassus and become good pagans who worshipped the gods and goddesses and made offerings unto them. After appeasing the goddess Themis, she decided to allow them to repopulate the earth. To do this they were to pry rocks up from the ground and then throw the rocks behind them. When they would do this the rocks would soften and morph into a human like form and then would become new women and men. I first thought this myth would be a good one to adapt into a story about one of the rocks who was to become a man or a woman that didn't quite make it all the way to their human form. I thought about what would happen to them if they were stuck half-way between “becoming” a human. The flow of the sentences in the first paragraph is supposed to be choppy, to show the urgency and to mimic how I thought becoming a person would happen, in short spurts.


Bibliography: Story source: Ovid's Metamorphoses, translated by Tony Kline (2000)

9 comments:

  1. I've never read Deucalion & Pyrrha before, but I thought this was such a cool and creative idea for a storytelling post! I love the way you decided to tell the story of someone who didn't quite make it--what a cool concept to incorporate into these older stories! I loved the way you wrote it and incorporated features into the story. Very awesome job on this storytelling post! Loved it!

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  2. This is an amazing story that I have never heard of. I loved it! I liked your story telling from the first person view. The first half or so of the introduction paragraph was a bit choppy when I read it. The sentences are so short and broken up so that it did not read too smoothly but the more I read the more I got into the feel of it and really began to enjoy it. The imagery you use is great. I liked that you capitalized the first letter in Becoming. It drove me a little crazy that the woman did not figure it out but I also liked that aspect. Not all stories end happily. The statue was great. I am assuming that's what you based your character on. It was very original. Your word choices in the second paragraph were lovely. Some of my favorites were: sick twist and nothingness. Great job!

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  3. Hi Nicole!

    Cool story! I enjoyed the rich details you gave to this story. I don't think I've ever read a description of someone taking human form and experiencing Earth for the first time. Very interesting. Such an intriguing concept. I liked the line "My soul is stuck in this deteriorating form." Nice. I think some people feel like this in the real world, but for difference reasons. I also enjoyed the way you ended the story. I was surprised! How will the character go on and survive without a head or limbs? Very creative. I look forward to reading more from you!

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  4. I think that your story is extremely well built up! This is obviously due to your research into the stories that you're emulating and interpreting, so well done there! You also give a very precise degree of detail: you give the audience enough description to really visualize the characters, but not too much so that they feel like their imagination is being underutilized.

    One thing I would maybe look to re-working is the format of your story: the paragraphs shouldn't be very big, especially since the story is being told in first person. Since the story is told in first person, the topic changes more often than it would in 3rd person, so more indents and paragraphs are in order I think. Making this change will definitely make the story flow better, and it will make it easier for the reader to keep up with all the character's thoughts as well. But other than that, it's spectacular!

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  5. Hello Nicole! I really enjoyed your story. The first person storytelling is done well and I think you did a great job of expressing the characters emotions, especially with all of the details. Your version is very creative and I think it is really cool how you did a story of not fully becoming a person. Overall, I thought you did a great job and found your story to be very entertaining and deep.

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  6. Hey Nicole! Like a lot of other commenters, I had never previously heard this story either. I really enjoyed your adaptation of it - it kept me interested the whole time while still leaving me with a myriad of questions. The intentional decision to make the first paragraph choppy worked very effectively; I could feel the stops and starts of becoming human. One thing I would be interested to see included in this story is the narrator's theory(ies) for why he stopped Becoming. You mention that he had spent thousands of years pondering it, so I think it would be really cool to get a little bit of insight into what he's considered. I also would enjoy a discussion of the narrator's mental state at some point in the conclusion. I know both of these might change the overall tone of your story, but I think the most interesting thing about the story is the idea that this person has been trapped in the stone body for millennia, unable to do anything but watch and think. Because of that, it would be neat to hear more of what he's thought. All together, though, you did a fantastic job and I really enjoyed reading this story.

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  7. Hey, Nicole! Seeing as I love flood stories (for their ubiquity and startling similarity) and am a huge fan of Greco-Roman mythology, it is no surprise that the myth of Deucalion and Pyrrha is one of my favorites. Therefore when I saw that you had written a story about them, I was at once filled with both excitement and trepidation. But may I just say, you did a fantastic job taking this story and making it your own, creating a "what if?" scenario that is fascinating and gripping, and was totally unexpected!

    I love that rather than retelling a tale that has undoubtedly been retold time and time again, you took a particular aspect of that story and expanded on it, taking the point of view of an unexpected character and then manipulating that character to form a unique storyline. To be stuck forever in a semi-state of being, always existing but never actually becoming what you were meant to be--a poetic but cruel fate. You did a great job of telling this tale in a way that shows the anguish of the main character and the passage of time.

    The only thing I might change is to separate your paragraphs into smaller ones. There are definitely a couple of resting points within the large chunks you have, and breaking it apart will help the reader to progress through the story without being overwhelmed by giant blocks of text.

    Fantastic work! Can't wait to read more!

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  8. Nichole. I enjoyed reading your story. First off, I will say great job with all the detail you used within it. You set up the setting and used action really well, which can sometimes be difficult. You provided a great sense of imagery within your story that made it even more entertaining to read. The story also flowed very well and I had no trouble reading it. However, the only thing I would suggest is maybe breaking up the paragraphs a little more. These giant paragraphs can be intimidated when initially looking at it.

    I also enjoyed reading your author's note and the ideas you had expanding the original story. It is interesting how you adapted/went a step further into the original story and created this. I thought your version worked really well and I enjoyed reading it! Great job!

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